Wedding Colors: Ideas to Help Find Your “Tone”

Figuring out your wedding color scheme is indeed one of the first things you need to do, as many of your decisions from here out you will need to know a color for.

When it comes to determining your wedding colors, ideas can come from all sorts of inspiration.  And that’s what you have to decide on – what is your inspiration?

And as a side note here, let me just say, “Oh boy, finally something about the wedding planning process that is not only fun and exciting, but one of the cheapest things on your checklist.”  For once, your wedding budget does not have to be considered, so really enjoy this part because it doesn’t matter if you pick brown or fuchsia, one doesn’t cost more than the other – yeah!!

For wedding colors, ideas should be pulled from your inspiration items mixed with “who you are” – not due to a trend.

While we certainly have articles on wedding color trends because our subscribers want to know these things and of course it’s interesting, but please don’t choose your wedding colors due to a trend; your wedding is about you, not anyone else’s!

Wedding Colors – Ideas on how to help you decide on YOUR wedding colors:

1. Your personality type.  Start by considering your personality type, are you and your fiancé traditional and conservative or a bit funky and bold.  I do think your wedding day is NOT the time to try to be something you’re not, even though I know we all “work on ourselves” to be a little more like this or a little less like that, but your wedding day is a life time memory and it should reflect the “core” you.  You’ll be much happier if you stick to what your gut tells you.
2. The “language” of color.  Now that you’ve considered your personality traits, let’s consider what some basic colors from the color wheel represent. Most colors have strong associations that everyone seems to share. This subtle “language of color” is an important consideration in color selection.  We couldn’t fit all this information into one article, so to find out which colors most represent your personality/character traits, read our article on Wedding Colors, Ideas about “Color Language”.
3. Your Inspiration.  What places or clothes or paintings make you feel good?  Do you have a favorite room in your house?  If so, it may be the color scheme that you are drawn to and you don’t even realize it.  What about a painting, you can draw your color inspiration from your favorite piece of artwork.  And I found the greatest tool for you to “draw out” the colors of these inspiration pieces.  I love it!! It’s a Color Palette Generator Tool and it helps you to choose the perfect colors based on an image that you love. Just upload your image (take a digital picture of that painting to upload it) and poof, you see the colors behind the scene.  Following is an example of using a Color Palette Generator Tool.  Another palette generator tool you might like is ColorHunter.

And as is the case when putting on any special event, your surroundings play an important role as does the mood you want to portray, so the following are also considerations when thinking about your wedding colors ideas:

• Where is the wedding and reception?  Choose colors that complement the setting.  Consider the carpeting, drapery and decor, etc.
• What mood do you want to create?  Vibrant colors add drama, while soft colors evoke a more romantic atmosphere.
• What time of year will you marry?  The season may influence your color scheme.  Spring and summer colors tend to be lighter, while fall and winter colors are generally darker.

Look and think about all of these aids when considering your wedding colors and you will be assured to come up with a well coordinated color scheme, and enjoy the process!!

By Cheryl Cox, Editor of YourWeddingDollars.com. See “Note from the Editor” for more information on Cheryl and her credentials.

“Create Your Own Wedding — Own Your Style, Not Someone Else’s — and do it all while keeping money in your pocket!”

It’s Your Wedding, Own Your Style

Okay, I don’t know about you, but there are way too many options out there when planning a wedding. It’s like when you go to the grocery store hungry and everything looks good. You find yourself coming home with much more food than you intended to buy and a lot of it you really won’t even eat. Maybe you thought you wanted it at the moment, because it looked good because you were hungry, but it’s not you; you’ll never eat that ice cream (good girl!). My husband and I like home décor (I know, his friends tease him terribly) and our personal style sways to the more traditional than contemporary, but we often see contemporary homes that we think were done beautifully and we truly appreciate; however, as my husband puts it: I just love that, it’s not for me, but I just love that!

“When planning the style of your wedding… own your style. Know your style. Really think about it.”

The same goes for your wedding style. You can appreciate and even like all the different wedding gowns, wedding flowers, venue locations, hairstyles, and music, but it doesn’t mean they are for you. When planning the style of your wedding… own your style. Know your style. Really think about it. You might love the picture in Bridal Magazine of a flowing dress with miles of train, and quite frankly you know you would look darn good in it, but if you’re a rocker and that’s what you intend to do at your reception – rock out, miles of fabric on your body would not be a good thing!

So before you plan your big day, you need to know what type of wedding is right for you. Is your style elegant and classic, or colorful and casual? When you have a party, is it your style to invite the whole neighborhood or just your “A” list of friends? Is your favorite food a perfectly grilled hamburger rather than a dish that you don’t even know what it is — like Tomato Tarte Tatin (which as I understand it is made with savory, herbed tomatoes baked with puff pastry in individual pans – yummy). You and your fiancé are starting your life together and your wedding should be a reflection of you both are individually and as a couple. So, start thinking about it – It is YOUR Wedding, Own YOUR Style!

By Cheryl Cox, Editor of YourWeddingDollars.com. See “Note from the Editor” for more information on Cheryl and her credentials.

“Create Your Own Wedding — Own Your Style, Not Someone Else’s — and do it all while keeping money in your pocket!”

Creating Wedding Website — 6 Great Reasons to Have One

What exactly is a Wedding Website and is it worthwhile to create your own personalized wedding webpage?  In a nutshell, having a wedding website keeps you and your guests up to date on your wedding planning progress from day one all the way up until the day before the wedding.  Creating wedding websites can actually help you save quite a bit of money on printing and postage costs and of course goes a long way with saving trees so if you create wedding webpage you will be not only helping your wedding budget but also keeping things “green” by being eco-friendly.  But more specifically, here are quick reasons for creating a wedding website for your wedding:

Reasons for Creating Wedding Website:

1. Save Money – Engagement announcements, save the date announcements, invitations, directions, etc. can go through this website
2. Help your Out of Town Guests – They will have a lot of questions: where should we stay, what is the weather like, what else is there to do when we get there, how far is the airport from the hotel, etc.  Instead of  having to write to each one individually or call each one (which we know can be a time saver cause you know how long Aunt Gertrude is going to keep you on the phone!), you can have this information detailed on your site and all your guests can find quick and easy answers to all their concerns just by opening up your website.
3. Getting Back RSVPs – Your can offer your guests the option fo RSVPing online via your website.  Getting your RSVPs is very important, it makes a difference in your budget knowing whether 50, 100 or 150 people are going to show up.  So many people use email nowadays that giving them one more easy way for them to respond to you is an added benefit to your planning process
4. Sharing Pictures & Stories – Everyone loves a “love story”!!  Even grumpy Grandpa!!  Have fun sharing your wedding planning process and your love for each other with quick notes and pictures that everyone can see and truly feel a part of your life.  Afterall, anyone you are inviting to your wedding I would certainly hope they are a person who means a lot to you and you want them to be involved and excited for you.
5. Get the Gifts you Really Need and Want — Most wedding website programs offer links to your registries.  Your guests will appreciate the time savings this offers by giving them quick access to your gift wishes and them being able to just push a button to buy it, have it wrapped, and delivered all without them having to change from the their PJs.  And, this way you are more assured of getting the items your really hope for because your guests won’t be forced to step out there on their own giving them the opportunity to maybe pick up something “they” like more than you might like.
6. Keeping Track of it All — Many online wedding website services have terrific tracking and planning tools as well.

There are many ideas for creating wedding websites and there are also many online services out there to help you.  Some offer free trials, some don’t; some offer planning tools, some don’t; some are easier than others and some are more customizable than others.  With all these things in mind, YourWeddingDollars.com researched several out there and our favorite thus far to help you in creating wedding website for your special day is Wedding Tracker.  If you want to read more about our findings, please see our Review of the Wedding Tracker program in our Resources & Reviews section.

Can you put your wedding together without having a personalized wedding website?  Of course!!  But is it as much fun?  No.  That’s just the truth.

As always, here’s wishing you a wonderful planning experience, a stress free wedding day, a long and beautiful life together, and  money left in your pocket!!

By Cheryl Cox, Editor of YourWeddingDollars.com. See “Note from the Editor” for more information on Cheryl and her credentials.

“Create Your Own Wedding — Own Your Style, Not Someone Else’s — and do it all while keeping money in your pocket!”

A Summary of Wedding Planning Steps

It seems it’s never too soon to put together your wedding planning steps for that momentous day! While each individual wedding requires more particulars than outlined here, the following wedding checklist timeline remains the basic rule of thumb for wedding planning. Following this step-by-step wedding checklist timeline will keep you organized and get you to the big day.

Shortly After the Big Announcement

As you begin to have ideas about the wedding, sit down with both families to formulate a budget. Remember, people who last planned a wedding twenty or thirty years ago (such as your parents) can be surprised by today’s costs. Expect to be flexible.

Wedding Checklist Timeline: 12 to 18 Months Prior

Starting your wedding planning steps 12 to 18 months prior is minimum. Popular sites could require two years’ lead time. This time frame gives you more options and a chance at better rates if you can lock in current pricing.

• Hire your wedding planner. You’ll need a wedding planner to review your budget and help you make the most of it. He or she will steer you from pitfalls and save you time, money and stress.

• Book a ceremony and reception site next. If you haven’t hired a planner, visit bridal shows, peruse the Internet, or look in current magazines or directories for event locations.

Wedding Checklist Timeline: 9 to 18 Months Prior

• For the next few months, layout your wedding planning steps to include hiring the photographer, caterer, videographer, officiant, and entertainment, if not included with the site. Prime dates book quickly, as do good vendors. The earlier you book, the better chance you’ll secure your first choice vendors at the best rates.

Wedding Checklist Timeline: 6 to 9 Months Prior

• Wedding and bridal party dresses should be ordered, pre-wedding letters mailed, overnight accommodations reserved for wedding guests. Also, order wedding cake, flowers and transportation for the wedding and reception.

Wedding Checklist Timeline: 4 to 6 Months Prior

• Reserve rehearsal dinner location, establish bridal registries, rent tuxedos, order wedding invitations, reserve any necessary rental equipment that is not included with your site or the caterer.

Wedding Checklist Timeline: 2 to 4 Months Prior

• Book your honeymoon and secure arrangements for wedding night accommodations. Now is the time to schedule appointments for hair, makeup, facials, massages and spa treatments. Order reception favors.

Wedding Checklist Timeline: 2 Months Prior

• Mail wedding invitations, obtain marriage license, purchase bridal party gifts, create ceremony program, have your engagement photography session.

Now, take a deep breath. The last month is going to be a doozie, but a manageable doozie:

Wedding Checklist Timeline: 1 Month Prior

• Confirm all vendors, finalize food and beverage choices with your caterer or reception site. Schedule a final dress fitting (tuxes for the gentlemen) and plan seating arrangements for your reception. Choreograph the rehearsal and family seating at the ceremony.

• Establish a timeline for the wedding day. If you haven’t hired a wedding coordinator, a friend or family member should be designated to oversee your wedding day.

• Just two weeks before the wedding, honeymoon reservations should be finalized or confirmed and arrangements made for going-away transportation, as well as wedding night lodging confirmed.

I heartily recommend you plan absolutely nothing other than hair, makeup, manicure, and pedicure appointments for the final week before the wedding. This hectic week will be consumed with out-of-town family and friends and last-minute details. Congratulations, you are at the end of your wedding planning steps; now, you need to find time to relax alone.

On the wedding day, your professional or designated coordinator will resolve problems and render decisions at both the ceremony and reception, overseeing the flow of events. You and  your groom should focus on enjoying each other and the love of family and friends!

“Stress Free, Leave the Details to Me,” is the tried & true philosophy of Robbin Montero, California Wine Country wedding planning expert and owner of A Dream Wedding. Robbin is the premier wedding planner in the Northern California Wine Country, transforming any vision into a perfectly designed wedding creation. Robbin and her weddings have been featured in The Knot, Brides, Elite Magazine, Your Wedding Day, Vine Napa/Sonoma magazines and ImportantOccasions.com. Travel & Leisure magazine calls Robbin, “The expert wedding planner in the California Wine Country.” www.a-dreamwedding.com

Wedding Ideas on a Budget that Still Create a Stylish Wedding

Couples often fear that a “low-cost wedding” is a “sad-looking wedding”. Well, it is not! You can achieve a stylish look without borrowing money from friends, family, and your bank, so you don’t start your marriage in debt. So let’s put wedding ideas on a budget in perspective.

More often, couples forget their wedding is, in reality, a celebration of their union. Today, most of the weddings we witness are full event productions, with extravagant décor, special effects, and impressive entertainment. But what about celebrating your love with just a few classic and stylish touches? We at La Dolce Idea always try to enhance each celebration with the couple’s personality: their heritage (Asian favors, for instance), their personal taste (a delicious papaya and mango cake), their favorite destinations (a European theme with signature monuments as centerpieces), and other elements about them. I assure you your guests will remember your wedding more than an aerial performance by acrobats dressed in royal blue, your “wedding color”.

For Wedding Ideas on a Budget, here are some general tips for saving money and having a wonderful celebration. More articles will follow, focusing on flowers and décor, and on the catering aspect of your special day.

• Always set a budget. You may have flowers as a priority, but you should first determine how much you can spend on the entire occasion, including engagement ring, wedding accessories, cake, honeymoon, etc. Avoid the little details that will be easily forgotten (those tossing petals might be cute but not necessary). Pay wedding costs with a credit card to earn frequent-flyer miles toward your honeymoon, but make sure you pay the balance in full each month in order to avoid incurring interest charges
• Negotiate - It never hurts to ask. People in the wedding industry are usually quite familiar with budgets and are willing to work with you. Explain your situation and maybe your florist will throw in a flower girl basket and lend you some accessories, but always be very respectful for the quality of products your vendors are providing
• Besides trying to keep your guest list to a reasonable number, try to keep the number of attendants as small as possible: the larger the bridal party, the more you will spend for gifts and flowers
• Instead of spending a lot of money on the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, be creative: an intimate BBQ at a relative’s house could be the perfect solution. Having a good time with some good company is the main goal, and your wedding party will definitely not remember the food they ate or the restaurant they went to for the rehearsal dinner
• Great wedding ideas on a budget would include not just look at wedding “venues” when you look for your wedding or reception location, but also contact local parks that have beautiful gardens or gazebos, historical sites, or museums. Sometimes places like that allow weddings for donations instead of expensive fees, and their natural landscape won’t need elaborate decorations or additional floral arrangements. Just make sure you always ask about the total capacity, restrictions about alcoholic beverages, whether rentals are included, and if they have a preferred vendor list. Also, choose a site that offers everything. You may think a raw space (such as your own backyard) will save you money, but the cost of all the rentals (tables, chairs, linens, china, a tent depending on weather conditions, etc) will set you behind… and you will be more stressed!
• When selecting your wedding invitation, choose one that will only require one stamp (no square invites, for instance), and purchase a package. A coordinated set of stationery has an elegant appearance, especially if the designs on each item are similar, not identical. If you can, try to have your reception information added on the ceremony invitation to eliminate the expense of the reception card. Instead of expensive letterpress printing method, opt for thermography or offset printing in one color (two shades of ink might match your wedding scheme but add printing costs). You can even print your own invitations: many stationery stores today provide beautiful sets of wedding invitations, including the invite, envelopes, RSVP cards and RSVP envelopes. Hiring a friend with a knack for graphic design to help can also save you money. Just remember to follow proper wedding invitation etiquette before printing your invitations
• Look for a dress at sample sales, trunk shows, and outlets; you can sign up for some designers’ sample-sale listings online and at all of your local bridal shops and salons. This will get you a discount on the dress, and you may even score some freebies like a veil or alterations, which can add up to hundreds of dollars in the long run. As an alternative, follow the Brides Against Breast Cancer Tour: you can find gorgeous wedding gowns at discounted price and benefit the Making Memories Foundation, dedicated to cancer patients. For your bridesmaids, you can try regular women’s clothing stores, including department stores. For a spring or summer wedding, use sundresses in your scheme colors and your bridesmaids’ sizes: they will thank you because they will have a dress they can actually wear again. You can also give bridesmaids a color and have them choose the dress in similar shades. You can follow the same advice for flower-girls: frilly spring and Easter dresses often work very well for them. Shoes can be found just about anywhere, not just at bridal stores.
• Be creative to come up with wedding ideas on a budget. For example, talk with your other engaged friends to see if there are any small wedding items that you can all choose together, buy together, and use at your own weddings, such as ring pillows and aisle runners. Some brides even share veils, and pair them with different headpieces, tiaras, or fresh blooms that match their bridal bouquet design.
• To make your ceremony extra-personal, ask a close friend or family member to officiate
• Choose inexpensive entrée items such as chicken and pasta for your reception meal, and then ask your chef or caterer to create gourmet sauces to make those meals extra-special (think about a pasta dish with a fabulous lobster-garnished sauce)
• Ask talented friends or relatives to help with your wedding. Your skilled friends could make cookie favors, make your bridesmaids’ wedding-day necklaces or bake a dessert for the rehearsal dinner as their wedding gift to you. It’s a win-win!
• Instead of hiring two bands and paying two separate fees, ask if a few pieces of the band that will be playing at the reception can entertain your guests during the ceremony and cocktail hour
• Hire a videographer to work just from the ceremony through the first dance rather than for the entire wedding
• Limo rental is another expense you can cut unless you get a really good deal. Borrow or rent a car, or check and see if someone has a classic car that you could borrow or that they would drive you around in
• Find well-priced favors on the Internet. There are tons of sites that offer anything you desire, from beach, to Asian, black-and-white, and vintage. Another great idea is to make a charitable donation in honor of your guests: they will definitely appreciate it
• After the event, donate your flowers to a hospital or nursing home; it’s a thoughtful thing to do and also a tax deduction
• Take a mini-honeymoon instead of the two-week Caribbean getaway. If your romantic plans far exceed your travel budget, consider setting up a honeymoon registry. These services eliminate the financial burden by allowing wedding guests contribute to your honeymoon budget online.  If you decide to pay for your own, choose a destination close to home for your first vacation as husband and wife, and you can plan the more exotic vacation later on. Many four- and five-star resorts throughout the country offer lavish honeymoon suites and packages that can easily compete with those in the Caribbean and other popular honeymoon destinations. Besides, you’ll save on airfare, especially if you book in advance. Cities like Chicago, Austin, Miami, and New Orleans are loaded with personality, charm, and endless possibilities for honeymooners who want to save money and stay close to home

As you can see there are many ways to look at things for Wedding Ideas on a Budget and still create a stylish wedding.  Check back for Part II, or better yet subscribe to YourWeddingDollars.com so you will be notified when Part II is published.

Weddings that tell a beautiful story: Yours. This is what Sabrina Cadini, Professional Bridal Consultant^TM, and owner of La Dolce Idea in San Diego, California, is passionate about. Each wedding should reflect the couple’s personality, and Sabrina adds that magic touch to make it an event that couples and their guests will always remember. By offering truly personalized service and money-saving solutions for every budget, she fuses creativity, Italian-style (where she’s from) and professionalism into impeccably planned celebrations. Find out more about Sabrina at www.ladolceidea.us

What’s the BEST Thing You Can Do Before You Get Married

The BEST thing you can do before you get married is REALLY GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER! And the best way to do that is to read 1000 Questions for Couples together.

Whether you are already engaged or have found the soul mate that you feel certain you will soon become engaged to, make the rest of your life together, rather than the wedding day, your first priority. Certainly, as they did for me, your first thoughts probably go right to all the fun, and overwhelming, plans that need to be made. But I would like to suggest there is plenty of time for that AFTER you have put some valuable time in on your relationship.

There’s a lot more to marriage than just the chemistry! I know that’s hard to believe right now and at this moment you’re not even thinking about any possible adversity between you and your soul mate, but keep in mind that you will be spending a lot of time with your partner for many, many years and you cannot possibly see eye-to-eye on every single subject.

1000 Questions for Couples was written by Michael Webb who is regarded in the media as one of the nation’s top experts on relationship matters. So you can be certain that the questions in this book are exactly what you need to help successfully marry or keep your relationship together.

Michael Webb has appeared on over 500 radio and television shows including Oprah, NBC News, To Tell the Truth and FOX News. He has been featured in practically every major newspaper in the United States and is regularly mentioned in the nation’s top magazines like Men’s Health, Bridal Guide, Cosmopolitan and Women’s Day.

The questions posed throughout his book are thought provoking, honest and certainly add to creating a solid base to start any marriage and they cover the gamut of life’s dealings, such as:

• Personality, Feelings & Emotions
• Favorites
• Pets
• Attractions
• Health, Food & Well Being
• Vacations
• Morals, Convictions and Beliefs
• Religion & Spiritual Matters
• Home & Home Life
• Past & Future
• Hobbies & Entertainment
• Love, Romance & Date Nights
• Friends & Family
• Communication
• Career and Education
• Money
• Relationships – Past & Present
• Children & Child Rearing
• Wedding & Honeymoon
• Sex

If you and your partner answer these 1000 questions, Michael guarantee’s that you will know each other better than 99% of couples on the face of the earth. Heck, I say if you even get through only 200 of the questions, you are off to a better start than the majority of newlyweds out there.

I read a statistic somewhere that if you go to pre-marital counseling before you get married it will cut down your probability of getting divorced by 75%. I’m not sure if that is true but it certainly makes sense to have some sort of thorough discussion on all the vital topics before you say I do.

Our review of 1000 Questions for Couples leads us to believe that it is an excellent resource for couples. With the thoroughness this book covers and the fact that it even comes with a money-back guarantee, I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to make this investment in the rest of their life together.

To find out more, visit Michael’s website at 1000 Questions for Couples.

All of us at YourWeddingDollars.com, wish you a very long and healthy relationship!!

By Cheryl Cox, Editor of YourWeddingDollars.com, See “Note from the Editor” for more information on Cheryl and her credentials.

“Create Your Own Wedding — Own Your Style, Not Someone Else’s — and do it all while keeping money in your pocket!”

Free Marriage Compatibility Tests – A Fun Experiment

Many people, regardless of where they are in their relationship, from dating to marriage have often wondered how compatible they are with their loved one.  While you can find several free marriage compatibility tests on the Internet today, and it can be a fun way to learn more about you and your loved one, it’s not something that you should base your entire relationship off of.

While marriage compatibility tests can present a better understanding of your interactions, they are meant only for fun and general learning.  The results aren’t a concrete statement of compatibility and what you can expect from your marriage but rather a view into how you both are similar and complement each other.  The best types of tests focus on the differences that should really matter. In the long run, does it really matter if your spouse doesn’t like your favorite science fiction show? What about if one of you wants children and the other doesn’t? Obviously some questions are a lot more important than others.

With that said, there are a few options available to you when seeking out free marriage compatibility tests.  Some of the best comprehensive ones use more scientific tests such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or the iPersonic free personality test used to identify what type of personality you and your partner are.  After taking the iPersonic free personality test, you can even go a step further and run a relationship profile tailored to your personality type where you will find out which personality types would be a good match for you, and give you a understanding of what it takes to live a happy long-term relationship.

Once you understand what type of personality each of you possesses, you can clearly see how they relate.  You’ll find out interesting things about each other such as how you express love and affection.  You can see what types of things come naturally to one another and what things they have an inclination to do, act, or say.  Another important thing that you can gain from an in-depth personality tests is an understanding of how each of you has a tendency to resolve conflict.  Part of being human is to have conflict, but with a better understanding on how it’s viewed, how you react to it, and the methods you use to solve it, can be very helpful in relationships.

These are just some of the inside views you might get from free marriage compatibility tests.  So if you’re interested, sit down and have some fun! Whether you have chosen a “personality type test” like the iPersonic free personality test or any of the free marriage compatibility tests you might find on the web, answer your questions honestly and see where you fall in the spectrum of personality.  By understanding each others instinctive personality traits, you will get a better understanding of each other, which can only result in being able to better communicate — which is what it all really boils down to anyway! You might also find our article on 6 Pre Marriage Questions helpful.

All of us at YourWeddingDollars.com, wish you a very long and healthy relationship!!

By Cheryl Cox, Editor of YourWeddingDollars.com, See “Note from the Editor” for more information on Cheryl and her credentials.

“Create Your Own Wedding — Own Your Style, Not Someone Else’s — and do it all while keeping money in your pocket!”

6 Basic Pre Marriage Questions – Be Prepared

An unfortunate reality of society today is that the divorce rate is climbing.  Nobody wants to be part of that statistic so many people, before deciding to walk down the aisle, decide to seek out some basic pre marriage questions and make sure they are making the right decision at the right time in their lives, giving them peace of mind that their relationship is ready and they are perfect for one another.

Whether you are already engaged or hoping to be soon, you and your loved one should ask yourself a few questions to make sure you’re both ready for the road ahead. If you haven’t covered the “tough” topics about love and marriage, it’s never too late to sit down with your fiance and make a very important investment in the rest of your lives by going over some pre marriage questions.

This is not about one of those “free marriage compatibility tests.” Instead going over pre marriage questions with your partner should be considered more of a very important checklist!  While a lot of us can get caught up in marriage, or the whole wedding planning thing for that matter, a little foresight can help solve the basic reasons for conflict and put you on the fast track for a prosperous, healthy and happy life together.

“. . . sit down with your fiance and make a very important investment in the rest of your lives by going over some pre marriage questions.”

Because there is no way to even come close to covering all the various facets of life that can occur in your marriage in this short article, at the end of this article you will find our recommendation of a very valuable book for pre marriage questions — it very well might be the most important purchase you will make for your marriage.  However, if your budget does not allow for that purchase, the following will give you some great ideas on the basic minimum of discussions you should have before tying the knot.

6 Basic Pre Marriage Questions & Things to Consider

1. Talk about your likes and dislikes together. You should work to understand your own likes and dislikes, as well as your partner’s.  See how they are similar and different and if they might cause any tension.  If so, work on a solution that will please you both.
2. Identify and discuss your religious and political beliefs.  These can be hot button issues for some so if you have dramatic differences, are you going to have huge conflicts in your home?
3. This question may seem like a job interview, but it’s important to know the answers and to be open with one another.  Ask what your partner’s credit score is and if they have ever been convicted of a crime.
4. What jobs and career goals does your partner have for themselves and are they something you can see yourself supporting?
5. You should also consider things like each others relatives, customs, and traditions and which ones will be honored.
6. Think about finances and who will handle them the best.

While some of these pre marriage questions can often come off as a job interview, it’s important, though, that you truly understand one another, and make sure you can work towards compromise and resolution.

Proper planning can lead to a lifetime of happiness, which is why we believe the 1000 Questions for Couples book recommended below is very worthwhile for any couple looking at matrimony; it will help you go over life’s “things” with your soon-to-be-spouse that you might not have thought about on your own.

Recommended Book for Pre Marriage Questions

1000 Questions for Couples.  You can find detailed information about 1000 Questions for Couples and the author, Michael Webb, under our Resources & Reviews section.  The review is titled What’s the Best Thing you can do Before you get Married?

By Cheryl Cox, Editor of YourWeddingDollars.com, See “Note from the Editor” for more information on Cheryl and her credentials.

“Create Your Own Wedding — Own Your Style, Not Someone Else’s — and do it all while keeping money in your pocket!”

Wedding Budgets Keep You in the Black (and White)!

Wedding costs vary regionally from around $25,000 in the Midwest to $50,000 and more in the Northeast. The average wedding in the United States costs approximately $28,000, not including rings or the traditional expenses of the bridegroom’s family.

Because they are expensive, because you want a beautiful wedding and because you don’t want to go into serious debt, the first step in planning any wedding is a practical one – establishing a budget. Bridal budget woes will put a damper on one’s outlook and a strain on relationships. A good budget is the foundation of a joyful wedding day.

Asking For Help

Depending on the ages and circumstances of the couple, family members may be interested in contributing to the wedding budget. There is no law that says parents must pay for any or all of the wedding, but it is a good idea to ask if key family members want to participate financially.

” . . . impress your parents and prospective in-laws (to say nothing of your fiancé) with your practical and effective approach to planning a lovely wedding.”

If they are interested, have ideas about the wedding and rough costs before meeting with them. Read magazines, attend a bridal show, visit bridal retailers, call vendors for budget ideas. Many parents make a flat contribution or specifically cover costs of photography or the wedding dress, for example.

Some budget items will be “hard costs,” not reflective of how many people will attend. Example, your $2,000 wedding dress will cost that much no matter how many people attend. The cost of a photography package or video won’t change with the number of people being photographed and entertainment costs are the same no matter how many people dance. To estimate these in advance, call at least three vendors for prices.

Again, don’t delay the budgeting portion of your wedding planning-start there. Failing to do so works against you by reducing options and, possibly, the wedding fund. Once you have a complete budget picture, prioritize items requiring the longest lead time, such as finding the site. As you proceed, you will make decisions about “soft costs”- those items which fluctuate, often with the number of people to attend, including the catering, beverages, cake, flowers, etc.

The Art of Compromise

Most brides thoroughly hone their prioritization and compromise skills during the wedding planning process. To accommodate a few more guests, she may switch from exotic to local flowers to avoid changing the exquisite wedding cake. This is also an important day for the groom. Is a compromise needed to let him know he is important, too?

Early Brides Catch the Bargains — and Bogus Bargains

Be cautious about bargain-rate vendors. Once a contract is signed, hidden costs can threaten your budget. Catch the add-ons by asking several prospective vendors what’s included in the price so you can compare values.

Booking and executing contracts twelve to eighteen months in advance guarantees your rates. Some vendors offer prepay discounts. Except for customary deposits, only prepay if you know the reputation and stability of a vendor. You can ask about making a reasonable deposit and regular monthly payments.

For most couples budgets are a big part of their life together, so the wedding budget can be a great learning experience. With or without their help, following a budget will impress your parents and prospective in-laws (to say nothing of your fiancé) with your practical and effective approach to planning a lovely wedding.

“Stress Free, Leave the Details to Me,” is the tried & true philosophy of Robbin Montero, California Wine Country wedding planning expert and owner of A Dream Wedding. Robbin is the premier wedding planner in the Northern California Wine Country, transforming any vision into a perfectly designed wedding creation. Robbin and her weddings have been featured in The Knot, Brides, Elite Magazine, Your Wedding Day, Vine Napa/Sonoma magazines and ImportantOccasions.com. Travel & Leisure magazine calls Robbin, “The expert wedding planner in the California Wine Country.” www.a-dreamwedding.com

This article cannot be reprinted without Robbin Montero’s expressed written permission.

Weddings – Who Pays for What?

Dowries no longer exist in our culture. Also long gone by the wayside is the old notion that the bride’s family is financially responsible for the entire cost of the wedding and reception. Having your parents bear the entire expense of a wedding and reception is not a birthright. Their contribution is a gift and, with the skyrocketing cost of weddings, is has become commonplace for both sets of parents and the bridal couple to share in this major expense.

“Having your parents bear the entire expense of a wedding and reception is not a birthright.”

When setting your wedding budget, start by asking what amount, if any, your parents are willing to contribute. They may wish to cover some, if not all, of the services and items on your list. When it comes to weddings, who pays for what still shows modern tradition observing the following financial allocations:

Traditional expenses of groom and/or groom’s parents

The groom’s parents (and/or groom) are responsible for the cost of the bride’s and bridesmaids’ bouquets, all corsages for the ladies and boutonnieres for the gentlemen. The groom bears the expense of the marriage license and officiant’s fee, but not the church or ceremony location charges. The groom or his parents pay for expenses associated with transportation of the bride and groom to the ceremony and reception, and transportation to the wedding night room.

The entire cost of the honeymoon and the bride’s ring is the responsibility of the groom and/or groom’s parents, as well as any gifts given to the bride. Accommodations for the groomsmen, whether arriving from out-of-town, or if a destination wedding is planned, are also the responsibility of the groom. The groom pays the cost of rental or purchase of his tuxedo.

Always an optional expense for the groom’s family, it is commonly expected that the groom’s parents are financially responsible for the rehearsal dinner. Depending on circumstances, the groom and groom’s parents can also offer assistance for a next-day brunch, or they can choose to pay for particular wedding items, such as the photography, champagne or cake.

Traditional expenses of the bride’s family

The bride’s family is responsible for all other expenses, which include the engagement party and the rehearsal dinner (if the groom’s parents do not pay). They will cover the entire cost of the reception, including the site rental, catering fees, beverages, wedding cake, all other flowers and decorations for the site. The bride’s dress, invitations, music for the ceremony and reception, cost of the church or ceremony site, photography and/or videography, wedding coordinator, party favors, guest transportation (if needed), and a trousseau for the bride also come under the responsibility of the bride’s family. They are also responsible for the cost of rooms for the bridesmaids at destination weddings, or for the rooms of women in the bridal party who are arriving from out-of-town.

Of course, times have changed and many brides are professional women who, along with their groom, contribute considerably to the expenses of the wedding. Some are capable of and desire to pay for their own weddings, splitting costs with their future spouse.

Other expenses

Bridesmaids are responsible for the cost of their dresses, any alterations and accessories.  They also pay for shower and wedding gifts, as well as the expense of hosting or co-hosting the bridal shower(s) and bachelorette party.

Groomsmen are responsible for renting their tuxedos, any alterations and accessories.  They also pay for wedding gifts, and hosting or co-hosting a bachelor (or coed bachelor/ bachelorette) party.

When it comes to your wedding who pays for what can be determined by discussing your wedding up front with everyone who might participate in covering the expenses. Doing so will help you make the most of a realistic budget so you can have the touches you feel are important to your celebration of marriage.

“Stress Free, Leave the Details to Me,” is the tried & true philosophy of Robbin Montero, California Wine Country wedding planning expert and owner of A Dream Wedding. Robbin is the premier wedding planner in the Northern California Wine Country, transforming any vision into a perfectly designed wedding creation. Robbin and her weddings have been featured in The Knot, Brides, Elite Magazine, Your Wedding Day, Vine Napa/Sonoma magazines and ImportantOccasions.com. Travel & Leisure magazine calls Robbin, “The expert wedding planner in the California Wine Country.” www.a-dreamwedding.com

This article cannot be reprinted without Robbin Montero’s expressed written permission.

Next Page »